Are you actively listening to others?

Carl Roger, as I cited from Kate Murphy (2020), once said that listening to opposing viewpoints is the only way to grow as an individual. A study that Murphy displayed in her book lends support to this statement. Research shows there is an inverse relationship between amygdala activity and activity in areas of the brain involved in careful listening (Murphy, 2020:84). This statement aligns with my experience when I see some communities that possess diverse cultural origins distinct from my own. One of them is the Batak community.

In 2017, I was afforded the opportunity to engage in year-long professional work on Samosir Island, Sumatera Utara, Indonesia. I resided in a rural village known as Simbolon Purba. Almost 100% of the population is still speaking their local language, Hata Batak (Batak language). I had difficulties. I was stuck at first. The primary obstacle I encountered was the language barrier. I have difficulty listening to or communicating with them. Gradually, I embarked on the process of learning Hata Batak. The entire process of studying Hata reminds me of Roger’s framework for active listening.

Whenever I engage in interactions with individuals from the Batak community, I always put my utmost effort into actively attending to their verbal and nonverbal expressions. This is the only way I kept on track. Furthermore, due to occasional difficulties in comprehension, sometimes I need to improve in order to develop and maintain my interaction with them. Through this challenging process, I acquired a substantial amount of knowledge and understanding. About the language, the people, the dynamic, the culture, and many, many stories of them. One tangible outcome of my effort was my ability to speak in Hata, particularly in the context of daily conversation. This accomplishment is quite remarkable, wouldn't you agree?

Similar to my experience, Chris Dewar's workshop last time helped me understand the importance of active listening and improving. I am a big fan of the “circle of stories”—I coined it. When we had to complete a previous sentence from a classmate in a group, if we did not turn on our active listening and improving skills, the story could not be a complete puzzle. I greatly appreciate how Dewar ensures that we just execute the prompt right away as a learning process of improvement. “Creating stories is like making a dish, then putting it on the table and enjoying it,” Dewar said.

Credit to: fineartamerica.com.
The picture is a drawing by Charles Barsotti

From the workshop, I was able to derive at least two significant findings. Firstly, it is important to note that being under pressure does not necessarily have negative implications. When faced with challenging circumstances, we can think differentially, and it can spark our creativity beyond our imagination. This point evokes the concept of negative capability. According to Murphy (2020:87), negative capability means being capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, and doubts without any irritable reaching after facts and reason. Secondly, it is imperative that individuals possess the ability to think and decide punctually and rapidly in all circumstances, specifically in this tech-driven world. The COVID-19 pandemic serves as a concrete illustration of this insight.

At the end of the day, this learning process not only resonates with my professional but also my personal path. All this listening and improving skills should be implemented and integrated into my daily life. Based on the recommendations provided by the Graduate School's team, I conclude that attentive listening and improving could affect me too. By engaging this skill, we are able to know when is the right time to say no, when is the right time to expect the unexpected, then improve your routine, and when is the right time to slow down and just be present. This whole process will facilitate individuals growing better over time.